The original human nature was not like the present, but different. The primeval man was round, his back and sides forming a circle; and he had four hands and four feet, one head with two faces, looking opposite. He could walk upright as men now do, backwards or forwards as he pleased, and he could also roll over and over at a great pace, turning on his four hands and four feet, eight in all, like tumblers going over and over with their legs in the air; this was when he wanted to run fast… [The sexes were not two as they are now, but originally three in number; there was man (made of 2 male parts), woman (made of 2 female parts), and the union of the two (one male and one female part). But the primeval humans] made an attack upon the gods [and Zeus said]: “Methinks I have a plan which will humble their pride and improve their manners; men shall continue to exist, but I will cut them in two. [Apollo] gave a turn to the face and pulled the skin from the sides all over that which in our language is called the belly, which he fastened in a knot (the same which is called the navel).
After the division the two parts of man, each desiring his other half, came together, and throwing their arms about one another, entwined in mutual embraces, longing to grow into one. Each of us when separated is always looking for his other half..And when one meets with his other half, the actual half of himself, the pair are lost in an amazement of love and friendship and intimacy, and would not be out of the other’s sight, as I may say, even for a moment: these are the people who pass their whole lives together. And the reason is that human nature was originally one and we were a whole, and the desire and pursuit of the whole is called love.Plato’s Symposium, 360 BC
- 20th October
- 1st March
I went to my roommate’s baptism last Sunday. Seeing all my friends from last quarter.. It was strange. The fact that I willingly avoided them, hid myself. I felt like a hypocrite among these people. As an example, just the night before my roommate’s baptism, I partied so hard, I barely got into my bed at six in the morning the day and I needed to get up at ten to get ready to go to Church. This whole.. “giving up your life” thing, I really can’t do it. Fresh out of high school, all I want to do is experience all the things college has to offer. My whole being resists being confined and being told what is “good”, what is “moral”, and what is “right”.
Don’t get me wrong, I admire people who do go to church. I respect their decision, and how deeply the love the gospel and their fellow brothers and sisters. Sometimes I’m envious of the bonds that grow within the church. But okay. So this isn’t totally going where I wanted it to go.
Shift back to my roommate’s baptism. Every testimony that came up was really touching and heartfelt. As I heard each person’s anecdote of how they came to know God, I remembered one story that I had heard twice. Once for every difficult time in my life. It’s a story where a man died and he stands on a beach. As he looks back on his life, he sees two sets of footprints on the shore. One is his. The second pair belongs to God. As they walk together, the man notices in his darkest times, in his times of need, one pair of footprints disappear, so he asks God, “Lord, when I needed you most, why did you leave me? Where did you go?”
“Son. I never left you. During your darkest hour, it was I who carried you.”
I don’t know. This story just has a really special place in my life. Even if I never become fully aware of who God is.. Something about being alone scares me. Being alone in such a vast universe. The comfort of knowing someone (although invisible) is there is tremendous. I’m anything but a faithful Christian. I don’t think I should even call myself a Christian. The only thing I know is I am alive. I exist. Maybe there’s a god out there somewhere.